Ouch

I got hurt today by someone I know. Not someone I'm close to or was looking to be close to, but ouch. It still hurts. But then again, when does it ever feel good to have someone treat you badly? And does it ever really matter why? In the end it's all about lack of regard, interest, and respect. Same old story, blah, blah, blah.

So how do you love someone that knows how you feel, what you're about, how you'll respond, and chooses to spit on you anyway?
 Hint: I don't know, but I'm trying very hard to learn!


Someone told me once that God allows difficult people in your life to teach you how to love unconditionally. I have learned that love isn't blind. It sees EVERYTHING. It doesn't take long to see someone's pros and cons and size them up pretty accurately. And forgiveness is just a matter of letting go, of not holding the worst parts of a person close to your heart. Love is a choice to see the best in someone, and to take the high ground when they inevitably fail. I understand all that, and have no problem spouting all kinds of wise sounding words when I think it's something someone else needs to hear. But when it comes my way I still struggle with what to do.

I have learned about boundaries, and why they're necessary, and why they're healthy. I embrace them now, without guilt. I have learned to love people where they're at without feeling like I have to be their friend, and without letting them into my heart, my inner sanctum, unless I can truly accept them and all the "stuff" they bring with them. We all bring "stuff", and if you can't accept what that "stuff" is in someone else, don't even try to get close to the person that brings it with them - it won't work out in the long run. God put peace in my heart and I want to keep it and take care of it, and I don't have to invite anyone in to tromp all over it. That's what God meant when He instructed me "above all else" to guard my heart "for everything [I] do flows from it" Proverbs 4:23.

I have learned about fire: how it keeps us warm, how it destroys if left unchecked. I've learned that fire requires 3 things to burn: heat, oxygen, and fuel. Remove one of the three and the fire goes out. Most of the times I remove the fuel. I stay quiet and don't give out any more information. I also choose to remove the heat. Although I feel like flaring up, I don't. I am comfortable with being non-confrontational, and haven't had any personal success with blasting another person, even if I feel like it inside. I don't know about the oxygen, though. I'm convinced there's something of merit, spiritually, but I don't know what that is. Maybe that's another issue for another day.

And I've learned that sometimes God takes people out of our lives for reasons only He knows. Sudden, damaging hurts, or repeated offenses, or a blatant lack of interest are all symptoms that something is wrong. It takes deep prayer to know if it's a trial, an attack, or a door being closed, and only God can confirm or deny a suspicion that an ending is in sight.

So. What to do? Stay calm, be still. Keep busy. Respond decently when required. Lay low for a while. Talk it out when the storm blows over, when it seems appropriate. Let a friendship go, if required.

Forgive, forgive, forgive.

And above all else, get with God and stay with God. After all, He's the only real friend we will ever know, or need.

Thank you, Daddy.